Attend to immediate needs (food, water, clothing, housing, transportation) to help alleviate triggers.
Share resources: offer snacks, hot water, coffee.
Be as transparent, consistent, and predictable as possible.
Offer translation services.
Seek out volunteers and/or allow a support person to be present if the individual feels that would be helpful, like a volunteer counselor.
Acknowledge and take responsibility for miscommunication.
Clearly outline expectations for effective and clear communication.
Ask the individual to share their understanding of what has been said. Notice body language, tone of voice – including your own.
What we can do to support a person in adverse circumstances
De-escalate a situation:
Try to stay calm and patient in a heated situation. Instead of reacting impulsively, you might pause, acknowledge the other person’s perspective, and then respond in a calm manner. This can help de-escalate conflict and co-regulate a young person who is in distress, modeling healthy coping mechanisms and setting a supportive tone.
When witnessing someone getting upset and appearing out of control, gently saying their name can help de-escalate the situation.
Show empathy: acknowledge and validate others’ emotions, even if you may not fully understand or agree with them. Saying, “I can see that this is important to you, and I appreciate your perspective," can go a long way in diffusing tension.
How to support a child after traumatic events:
Try to stick to routines, such as reading bedtime stories, eating dinner together, and playing games.
Help them feel in control by letting them make some decisions for themselves, such as choosing their meals or picking out their clothes.
Open communication is key: Answer all their questions. Encourage your child to talk about their feelings and validate their emotions.
Set predictable, consistent daily routines: Similar bedtimes, regular mealtimes, and clear expectations will enforce a sense of safety. While this sounds basic, the guardrails and comfort they provide are critical.¨ Pay attention to sudden changes in behaviors, speech, language use, or strong emotions.
Go at their pace: Be in tune with their needs and allow them to recover at their own pace while sticking to a daily routine as much as possible.
Get down to their level: Remember, when talking with children, you are larger in size and may come across as intimidating. Consider getting to your child’s eye level and make sure your tone is calm.
Talk in a language they can understand: Monitor your choice of words and use phrases that are not too complicated, are matter-of-fact, and convey your message without blame or shame.
Validate and mirror their emotions: Validations such as, “I understand you are feeling scared right now” will allow the child to feel heard and seen. It will also enhance their ability to name their emotions.
Read books together that examine experiences like theirs: There are a vast number of resources, picture books, self-help books, and chapter books that address struggles such as grief, bullying, having a sick parent, and more. Reading books that examine similar experiences will allow for self-exploration and organic discussion.
Model self-regulation: As a parent or caregiver, we can model self-regulation and mindfulness techniques and normalize having difficult emotions while we show them how we cope.
Teach them self-soothing techniques and coping strategies: Help your child discover their own coping strategies by exposing them to simple yet effective tools, such as exercising, going outside for a walk, trying children’s yoga, or doing breathing exercises.
Safety first: After a traumatic incident, help your child understand it was not their fault. Reassure them that you will do everything in your power to keep them safe.
Ensure children and adolescents are safe and that their basic needs are addressed
Let them talk, write, or draw pictures about the event and their feelings.
Allow them to be sad or cry. Limit their exposure to repetitive news reports about traumatic events.
Let them sleep in your room (for a short time) or sleep with a light on if they are having trouble sleeping.
particularly if any of the following symptoms occur for more than a few weeks:
Having flashbacks (reliving the event)
Having a racing heart and sweating
Being easily startled
Being emotionally numb
Being very sad or depressed
Contact a health care provider if new problems develop,
Don’t:
Expect children and adolescents to be brave or tough.
Make them discuss the event before they are ready.
Get angry if they show strong emotions.
Get upset if they begin bed-wetting, acting out, or thumb-sucking.
Make promises you can’t keep (such as “You will be OK tomorrow” or “You will go home soon.”
